Dirge Without Music, by Edna St Vincent Millais ( for Sarah)

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go: but I am not resigned.

Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains, - but the best is lost.

The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, -
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.

Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. and I am not resigned.

Sarah Richards is gone and so has a lot of Joy and Fun, Laughter and Love

This should have been a happy post about the fun, creativity and mayhem of the field trip. However while we were returning, a bus full of knackered/energized art students from a wonderful time in Pembrokeshire the lovely bubbly Sarah was closing her eyes and quietly slipping away into the unknown her body giving up the unequal struggle with breast cancer and chemotherapy and resultant infection.

It was all so fast - she was only diagnosed in September last year, 3 successful rounds of Chemo, jolly parties of loud ladies accompanying her to Christies as she couldn't drive, chatty emails about how loosing a breast or two would be OK as no one had looked at them for 5 years anyway. the lovely Sarah still in top form - more concerned about making sure friends picked up enough cat food and looked after her furry friends while she was in hospital than about herself.

Now she's gone I'm trying to remember the joy and happiness and Fun that she brought to everyone who knew her, Mad Sarah spending the money she had put aside for mending the central heating boiler on a trip to New York and Vegan Yarn - always hopeful that her prince would come one day. Loving Chaotic Sarah one of my pillars of strength in times of darkness, taking me to Art Galleries and the Theatre, watching weird films at the Cournerhouse and listening to South Pacific and Peggy Lee, dancing with my sister, myself and other mad ladies to Sisters are doing it for themselves and hoping to Free Nelson Mandela (he was still incarcerated at this point), introducing me to Bookcrossing . I have known her nearly half my life, met in crisis between husbands one and two.

I can't believe she has gone so quickly, one minute a force of nature - the next an empty shell.

I'm trying to remember and be happy - I'm not - I am desolated, sad and bereaved, tears leaking out at intervals - when I heard the news I howled - I didn't think people actually did that!. It's so unfair - why don't the bad people die not my lovely Sarah.

Sarah Richards I loved you so much.

Bad Blogger

Hmm I'm a bit dilatory at this blogging lark

However, the recent snowfalls have revealed that not only does a fox visit my garden, but judging by the tracks a badger as well - no wonder all the bird food vanishes!

Off to Pembrokeshire with college on Sunday - 57 of us in a 57 seater coach travelling the long way round via the motorway and Cardiff!

Hey ho

Back again soon (maybe)